Post by Fujiko Mine on Mar 15, 2018 15:36:54 GMT -5
Backstage, the camera comes up on Fujiko Mine and XENA, standing near the women's’ restroom. XENA holds an obscenely large bottle of Purell hand sanitizer. Meanwhile, Fujiko holds her right hand over a bucket, and is scrubbing her knuckles roughly with a washcloth.
Fujiko Mine: SO. FRICKING. GROSS.
She pulls back the washcloth for a second, and XENA dumps a huge amount of hand sanitizer over her hand and wrist. She nearly gags, but holds it together long enough to go back to scrubbing at her hand.
Fujiko Mine: What kind of nasty gross disgusting sea diseases is he trying to spread?! EWW!
XENA merely shakes her head in disgust. Fujiko’s knuckles turn red from the friction, but she continues on.
Fujiko Mine: He wanted the last word so bad, he was willing to make himself look stupid by telling me “Now I’m done” after I’d already walked out.
A smile appears for a moment, then vanishes as the overpowering smell of the cleansing liquid catching her sense of smell.
Fujiko Mine: Meanwhile, Elijah was too busy trying to shoehorn my name into his speech that he forgot...or was too ignorant to realize that the National title isn’t on the line in my match with Brendan. Way to go, “face of SAP.”
She rolls her eyes, and then chooses to get back on track.
Fujiko Mine: Now, I’ll admit. I was wrong. Brendan decided to point out that I’d made my success elsewhere. I said he’d done the same in HKW, and I was wrong.
A momentary pause.
Fujiko Mine: He’s been ‘sailing’ his disgusting flag in NKP and 2CW. So almost every point he tried to make against me, he was either disproven, or made him look like an absolute idiot. He signed the contract as “the wrestling”, as I knew he would, and then had to try and complain when I one-upped him. He was challenged to prove he wasn’t being coddled by promising to relinquish the National title if he lost. He tried any and everything he could, including kissing my freaking hand. Who does he think he is, Harvey Weinstein?!
Her disgust is evident. She motions for XENA to pour more hand sanitizer on her hand. She only stops scrubbing long enough to let the Purell coat her irritated knuckles. She cringes at the sensation.
Fujiko Mine: I bet he was hoping that doing that was either going to get into my head, or make me fall in love with him or something. But this is reality, not some fantasy where you can force your nasty saliva onto my hand and get a favorable reaction out of it. The dudes that cheered you doing so are probably the same idiots that watch pick up artist videos and think buying a girl a drink means they are entitled to some affection.
She sneers for a moment, then finally slows down on the scrubbing.
Fujiko Mine: So Brendan, thank you for proving to me how generic you really can be. You pulled several plays out of the “how to be a generic scrumbag in wrestling” playbook, including underestimating me. I didn’t just stumble into this match against you. I earned it, and there is ABSOLUTELY no way that I have gone all this way just to fall victim to a vegas Jack Sparrow impersonator with some wrestling talent. So keep your smiles, keep your nasty kisses, your stringy hair, your lame reaction gifs where you just make a face for attention, and your National championship. Keep it all. Because I am going to kick your jawbone in two, knock you absolutely loopy, and take what will be mine. The North American championship.
She glances over at her knuckles, almost raw from her attempts at cleaning them. A nasty look crosses her face. She beckons the camera closer with her left index finger.
Fujiko Mine: It’s going to feel good, especially when I use these knuckles to punch you directly in the face.
She scowls.
Fujiko Mine: Then I’m going to hold up the North American championship, and watch the supposed captain… bow to the Wrestling Goddess. Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Fujiko tosses the washcloth into the bucket and stalks off, with XENA’s intense visage then filling the camera. She smirks coldly, then walks off, the SAP logo replacing the scene.
Fujiko Mine: SO. FRICKING. GROSS.
She pulls back the washcloth for a second, and XENA dumps a huge amount of hand sanitizer over her hand and wrist. She nearly gags, but holds it together long enough to go back to scrubbing at her hand.
Fujiko Mine: What kind of nasty gross disgusting sea diseases is he trying to spread?! EWW!
XENA merely shakes her head in disgust. Fujiko’s knuckles turn red from the friction, but she continues on.
Fujiko Mine: He wanted the last word so bad, he was willing to make himself look stupid by telling me “Now I’m done” after I’d already walked out.
A smile appears for a moment, then vanishes as the overpowering smell of the cleansing liquid catching her sense of smell.
Fujiko Mine: Meanwhile, Elijah was too busy trying to shoehorn my name into his speech that he forgot...or was too ignorant to realize that the National title isn’t on the line in my match with Brendan. Way to go, “face of SAP.”
She rolls her eyes, and then chooses to get back on track.
Fujiko Mine: Now, I’ll admit. I was wrong. Brendan decided to point out that I’d made my success elsewhere. I said he’d done the same in HKW, and I was wrong.
A momentary pause.
Fujiko Mine: He’s been ‘sailing’ his disgusting flag in NKP and 2CW. So almost every point he tried to make against me, he was either disproven, or made him look like an absolute idiot. He signed the contract as “the wrestling”, as I knew he would, and then had to try and complain when I one-upped him. He was challenged to prove he wasn’t being coddled by promising to relinquish the National title if he lost. He tried any and everything he could, including kissing my freaking hand. Who does he think he is, Harvey Weinstein?!
Her disgust is evident. She motions for XENA to pour more hand sanitizer on her hand. She only stops scrubbing long enough to let the Purell coat her irritated knuckles. She cringes at the sensation.
Fujiko Mine: I bet he was hoping that doing that was either going to get into my head, or make me fall in love with him or something. But this is reality, not some fantasy where you can force your nasty saliva onto my hand and get a favorable reaction out of it. The dudes that cheered you doing so are probably the same idiots that watch pick up artist videos and think buying a girl a drink means they are entitled to some affection.
She sneers for a moment, then finally slows down on the scrubbing.
Fujiko Mine: So Brendan, thank you for proving to me how generic you really can be. You pulled several plays out of the “how to be a generic scrumbag in wrestling” playbook, including underestimating me. I didn’t just stumble into this match against you. I earned it, and there is ABSOLUTELY no way that I have gone all this way just to fall victim to a vegas Jack Sparrow impersonator with some wrestling talent. So keep your smiles, keep your nasty kisses, your stringy hair, your lame reaction gifs where you just make a face for attention, and your National championship. Keep it all. Because I am going to kick your jawbone in two, knock you absolutely loopy, and take what will be mine. The North American championship.
She glances over at her knuckles, almost raw from her attempts at cleaning them. A nasty look crosses her face. She beckons the camera closer with her left index finger.
Fujiko Mine: It’s going to feel good, especially when I use these knuckles to punch you directly in the face.
She scowls.
Fujiko Mine: Then I’m going to hold up the North American championship, and watch the supposed captain… bow to the Wrestling Goddess. Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Fujiko tosses the washcloth into the bucket and stalks off, with XENA’s intense visage then filling the camera. She smirks coldly, then walks off, the SAP logo replacing the scene.