Post by Vonberry on Oct 26, 2017 20:03:27 GMT -5
| HAPPENS ON 10/31/2017 - OFF CAMERA |
If anyone could accuse anyone of being downright evil, it would be Alex Kaiser. Strangling someone with a chain for not responding him out of tradition, orchestrating a horrific metamorphosis, and seeking the end of someone’s career by means of torture are a few of the things that Alex have done in the time of his career. Why does someone like him deserve anything remotely happy, such as the love and adoration of the cup’s namesake or to honor her by winning? It mattered not to Alex at the moment. The vocalizations of self-hatred didn’t wane on his want to win, no matter what. The other people in the tournament doesn’t care much about the woman behind the cup’s inception. They see it as a platform, and probably nothing more. A passing notion of respect might cross their mind, but they don’t have the weight of the world on their shoulders either.
Alex sat inside the locker room, staring down at the floor tiles. Soon enough, he’d make his way out to an unfamiliar audience to do war with Desiree Jenkins. She had spoken her arrogant words to the ceaseless void that was Twitter. Alex’s eye twitched upon remembering all the words that people spoke leading up to the event.
“Out of honor and respect--” - Jessica Nitoh
[Silence yourself, worm.]
“I’m so going to win.” - Desiree Jenkins
[Not if you’re fighting me, you’re going to wish you stayed away.]
“And another tournament shall be added to my resume--” - Andre Holmes
[Your resume won’t matter when you have a broken neck.]
Alex pressed his hand over his eye, feeling a throbbing pain behind it. A sharp noise escaped his body as he felt his own, cruel thoughts reverberate throughout the recesses of his mind. He didn’t enjoy them striking up again, those thoughts. They were vile, manufactures of his upbringing. The words that the voices spoke might have been different pitches of his own, but Alex knew where they came from. They were all broken off from his father’s speeches. He wasn’t going to be that kind of person, not here.
[Let it go and let the blood spill.]
Letting it go would mean that he would revert back. These last few months have been him fighting against the kind of person he used to be. Malevolent, temperamental, and set on causing harm to anyone that he saw fit to receive his gifts. That’s not the kind of person he wanted to be anymore. That’s what led to the destruction of all around him. His ruined stint in SVW, and his injuries in PAROUSIA, all stemmed from his own malicious wants. Those wants--those needs.
Alex’s breathing quickened, with him unable to catch any of the breaths. Why did he have to be cursed with such a mind? He didn’t want to fall back into that pitfall, not here. He came to SAP to compete for a cup to preserve Nicole’s honor.
[They want to take that honor away from you. They want to tarnish her name.]
He shouldn’t have done this.
[You’re a Kaiser, Alex. You’re a weapon, made to hurt and maim.]
Alex resisted, physically throwing his head the opposite way as if the voices were standing beside him. He grabbed onto his wrist, feeling himself lose control. He knew why the voices were acting out tonight. The tournament would let them do what they want, but he kept them away. He also knew why they came back in such loud volume.
[Poor Alex didn’t take his medicine.]
Cogentin and Haldol, the two virtues that helped silence these horrible voices. Over the span of Nicole’s death, he had forgone using them. He could fight against them and win. They were strong, but they were manifestations of his own doing or his father’s imprint. Alex could do this, at least tonight. He could--
[YOU CAN’T WIN WITHOUT US!]
No.
[We’re only the ones who love you now. She loved you, and we loved her too. Do this for us. Let’s us out for her.]
They’ve grown privy to using Nicole to sway him. He could ignore them, but tonight, they came in droves. Alex stood up, heading towards his locker. He rested his hands and his head against it, gritting his teeth. A burning sensation crawled throughout his body, sweat started to rise to the skin surface. He closed his eyes--he knew they would follow his gaze.
[You act like she wasn’t like you...like us. She would want you to go all out on them. Have you heard them?]
They were making sense, which Alex hated.
[They kept going on and on about what this cup will do for them? Some say some half-assed honor bullshit, but it doesn’t matter. They don’t know what you can do. We’re glad that you’ve stayed silent, Alex.]
Alex opened his eyes gently, staring at the locker.
[Come on, just for a little while.]
“No,” Alex said, which caused a bunch of screeching to resonate all over his head. He grabbed onto the sides of his head, gritting his teeth until he thought he heard a crack. It was the one thing outside of the voice’s irritated mewling that he could hear. He hung onto it, not letting their screaming trickle through. He looked at the locker and banged his head against it, hard enough to stop them, but not hard enough to draw blood.
In the silence, Alex returned back to his bench, looking down at the tiles once more. Five minutes had passed, and he let out a sigh. Then they all came rushing back.
[You know we’re right.]
Alex grappled with the overpowering nature of his inner demons, be they real or not. He eventually fell to his knees, trying to make them stop with mental fortitude alone. They laughed, cried, and screamed all in the same torrent of loud noise until Alex let out a scream inside. The voices stopped dead, awaiting his response.
Fine.
[You’ll do it?]
Alex pondered for a moment, which they all could see and know. Inside his own mind, he paced back and forth before a mass audience of faceless people.
I can’t win without you or with you all interfering.
[This is true, yes.]
Just..
Alex squinted.
We can work together to win this.
[Yes, we can.]
Just this one time.
[Yes, just this one time.]
Good.
[We will tear them all apart, because we love you, Alex.]
Right.
[And because we loved her too, Alex.]
At least they were in agreement about that.
Alex got off the ground, returning to the bench. He looked at the door, knowing that he locked it, but he had to be sure. The torrent had died down, returning to its common state of a babbling brook of murmurs. Relieved that they would listen, Alex turned his attention back on counting tiles. He hadn’t lost count no matter what the voices did to try to steal his attention.
He was at two hundred thousand now.
He broke away from that to take something out from underneath his shirt. On a sturdy string, a gleaming piece of silver and diamond swung. He held it close, the engagement ring, and he gave his hand a gentle kiss. It was sent to Nicole, wherever she was in the afterlife. A few tears escaped, crawling down his face. When he released the kiss, he looked around the room, forcing himself back into reality.
[Go and kill them all, Alex.]
Of course, it’s what she’d want.